The Grey Series-A Satire

For those of you who have not read The Grey Books: I am sorry, your life could have been so much better this past week and this blog will make absolutely no sense.  Now if you have read The Grey Books don’t forget to buy more batteries when you go to the store; your husbands are wondering what happened to the ones in the TV remote.  They are also wondering why you now own a riding crop and no horse.  

You might be interested to learn these books were written by what appears to be an average woman with an almost savant like understanding of complicated sex toys and a unrivaled ability to make every human function incredibly sensual.  For instance, I now think eating asparagus is the ultimate turn on and I do not particularly care for the vegetable...... Anastasia reached down and plucked a firm piece of asparagus off her plate and seductively rubbed it all over her face leaving a greasy trail of melted butter dripping down her perfectly sculpted cheekbones.  Christian watched in fascination, his wanting palpable.  Unable to restrain himself any longer he leaned over and licked her face clean with his strong, wet tongue.  

Anastasia could feel her body trembling with pulsating desire as Christian picked up his fork and stabbed a piece of chicken on his plate.  Her blue eyes grew wide with surprise as he chewed, ever so slowly, leaving her in a hypnotic trance at the sheer magnificence of his mastication splendor.  He then firmly gripped her Revlon Color #5 hued mane and tilted her face back, firmly pressing his succulent lips to hers.  Was this really happening?  Was she even worthy to sit in the presence of such a brilliant creature?  Christian moaned and made a strange gurgling noise in his throat as he effortlessly regurgitated the chicken.  Then without warning he thrust the food into Anastasia’s mouth, feeling unsurmountable pleasure as he fed her like a helpless tiny baby bird.

Christian watched entirely transfixed by the glorious scene erupting before him; Anastasia swallowed, her esophagus pulsating as she tried not to gag.  Suddenly she coughed!  In one swift grip, he scooped her up and bent her over his smooth, muscular arm compliments of his trainer Zeus and Chi Nygn, his waxer.  Christian made a fist and cupped it with his other strikingly beautiful hand, pressing himself firmly into Anastasia’s diaphragm over and over again until suddenly she found her release and the wad of chicken exploded from her mouth and flew across the room where it stuck, to the wall.  Christian tensed and then collapsed in sheer exhaustion next to her.  “I could have lost you Anastasia, I was so scared.”  Was he mad at her?  Oh God, Please. Nooooooooo.  “Oh Christian, when are you going to learn I suffer from acid reflux?  I was simply clearing my throat,”  Anastasia pleaded.  

Christian’s jaw muscles were clenched; his grey eyes clouded over.  “Don’t ever do that again.  Tomorrow I will have my doctor insert a feeding tube so you do not have to swallow.  I cannot stand the thought of you choking.”  Anastasia started to protest but realized it was no avail.  “Oh Fifty, what am I going to do with you?”  XO