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Happy Motha's Day

My mom was cleaning my house yesterday (calm down, I pay her in cash) when a wave of nostalgia passed over her after she sprayed oven cleaner. She started blabbing on and on about my childhood while I flipped through a magazine. “The minute you were born you shit all over me and have been ever since.” You tell this story every single time there is a family get together. “I honestly thought you were a lesbian when you were two because you would only wear hand-me-down Star Wars t-shirts even though you had a closet full of pretty dresses.” Of course that would be indicative of my future sexual orientation, never mind that you were still breastfeeding me. “You used to call your dad by his first name.” I was already plotting my emancipation and rationalized this formality would assist with my case. ... Read more

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Hi there. I am so glad you stopped by! I started writing a couple years ago as a constructive way to channel my emotions at the prompting of my therapist. One of my assignments after being in therapy for a year was to write an autobiography detailing ... Continue »