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Good News Comes In Pairs

I was just skimming through the news and came across the Josh Duggar scandal. Wow Dude, it is a good thing Jesus apparently loves you because everyone else on the planet thinks you are a fucking asshole. No wonder your parents went on to have 18 more kids after they screwed up the first one so badly. Anywhooooo, for those of you who don’t follow me on Facebook or you can’t when I blocked you after you attempted to send me pictures of your balls...I learned I do NOT have breast cancer this week. I was driving to my doctor’s appointment when the skies suddenly grew ominous and it started pouring outside. The car in front of me had a 666 on their license plate and I literally could not get away from the guy. It was super dramatic and if I hadn’t already worked myself into a state of sheer terror, I would have been laughing hysterically. ... Read more

Everyone Loves Me

My children went back to school a few weeks ago. I had been counting down the nanoseconds for this day since the end of June. In fact, when I took them back-to-school shopping the week prior I actually said, “Stop licking each other” void of any emotion whatsoever. We took a bunch of trips, went to the pool, museums, parks, blah blah blah... So imagine my surprise when my my brain fucking betrayed me and I started crying. Like hard. The combination of not being needed any more and no longer having a viable excuse for having a dirty house was suddenly overwhelming. ... Read more

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Still not satisfied
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Hi there. I am so glad you stopped by! I started writing a couple years ago as a constructive way to channel my emotions at the prompting of my therapist. One of my assignments after being in therapy for a year was to write an autobiography detailing ... Continue »